Sunday, February 23, 2014

Forty Four

And He. He keeps talking. With signs that point and beckon, lighting the path. They are awe inspiring in their frequency yet intricate, woven amongst the days I live like thread that holds everything together. And like a beacon they shed light on previously unseen clues and I marvel at them with excited wonder. It is tantalizing as the process is not fast. And on the journey at times my heart droops with hopes seemingly deferred and the signs seem to mock my heart and it's glorious dreams because look at you. You broken vessel.
 But he keeps saying it. Faithful. That is what you are. Yet faithfulness is his purest essence and mine is fickle and faltering. How do His eyes see veins of gold. Can it be he sees the heart that desires truth in the inmost parts, that he sees the attempts and intentions and he weighs it up and it is not found wanting because even when the desires do not exceed the struggle they are still golden for just being. It must be. So I take hold again of the fact that he has faith in me. But not only that. He is with me. Despite the failing. He is there, more constant than anyone I have ever known.  And I lift my eyes again and there is 44 signalling, and I take a step and see 55 around the bend. And he laughs: 'Grace abundant for you my beloved daughter, fear is no match for your brave heart. And we shall go on together.'

Monday, February 10, 2014

Alighting Joy

I lit up joy tonight. Walking into my room I turned to the comforting flicker of a candle. And as I held the match to the wick I realized that unintentionally I was lighting up joy; because written across the glass that encased it was that word. Joy. And I smiled, a little ironically as that was the last thing I was feeling. But one can light it. One can keep it burning. One can intentionally choose it when it really seems so far out of grasp. Because this presence we worship. He is joy in all it's fullness and he melts away burdens with his laugh over us. And he is ever ready to burst into flame within our hearts and flood them with his lightness.